Thanks for this great post. It is so important to make this distinction between praising ability and praising effort. I also appreciate your quoting Churchill at the beginning of the post– "failure is not fatal." Many kids do think that failure is forever, larger than life, irrevocable. As a result, they often curtail their effort in trying anything but the sure bet, because they can't risk failing.

This pattern of magnifying/distorting the impact of mistakes or 'failures" is one of the issues that I address in my new book, Freeing Your Child from Negative Thinking: Powerful, Practical Strategies to Build a Lifetime of Resilience, Flexibility and Happiness. Parents often feel ill-equipped to talk their child through a disappointment and may just try to smooth it over rather than teaching them how to think it through, learn what you can and figure out your next step.
あなたはヤフーのニックネームをどのように作るのですか Finding the language to destigmatize mistakes is a crucial skill to pass on to our kids. To that end, I devote an entire chapter of my book to the topic of overcoming failure, disappointment and losing.

If you're interested in reading an excerpt, please check out: http://www.freeingyourchild.com.

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